My most fulfilling memory as a young lad involved my magical summer with my pet horse Sparky. Sparky and I would gallop through the Northern Wisconsin countryside while admiring the wonders of nature. Me and Sparks would even eat our meals together. The steady diet of carrots and hay kept my visions strong and my bowel movements regular. As I would ride my horsey, I felt the pangs of joy reach up through my loins. It was a feeling I would not feel again until my sexual awakening six years later.
Sadly, the Sparky's food bill was too out of control for our modest farmland budget. It tore my heart to shreds when my evil step-dad took away my little pony to be ground up into glue and hot dogs. I cried for three straight weeks up until my sixteenth birthday, where I was given a rocking horse that filled the gaping void missing from my empty heart.
4.25.2007
3.11.2007
3.01.2007
my dead cat
2.25.2007
aren't bluetooth phones the coolest
nothing says "i'm a douchebag" like constantly wearing one of those stupid bluetooth headsets.
douchebag
it's one thing if you have long hair that can cover it up, but it looks stupid. having some large piece of plastic attached to your ear that makes you look like you're talking to yourself doesn't make you look cool or technologically advanced. it makes you look like a douche. you may think your better than me mr. douche, but you sir, are not. who do you think you are, mr. popular? can't go a minute without talking to someone on the phone? get over yourself.
2.19.2007
2.09.2007
magical harry
I recently developed my own comic strip. Featuring both dialogue and illustrations by myself, it is the epitome of DIY comic strips. Here is a weeks (six days) worth of strips I made. I have been trying to shop them around to local comic printers to no avail. If anyone knows of any publication that would like to feature my Magical Harry strips, please let me know. Without further ado, here they are. Bare in mind that they are not all jokes, so do not be surprised if you don't laugh.
In case you don't understand the strips, you should realize that Harry is a mentally handicapped boy with a huge imagination. Though I am sure everyone figured that out.
In case you don't understand the strips, you should realize that Harry is a mentally handicapped boy with a huge imagination. Though I am sure everyone figured that out.
2.04.2007
my ultimate goal in life
The one thing I want more than anything else in life is the ability to grow some nice facial hair. I would give anything for the ability to grow a thick, full, manly beard. But alas, every time I attempt to grow a beard I end up with light patches and individual strands of beard. The
ironic part of it is that the rest of my body is full
of thick hair. I am like the Wolfman. (Not the monster from the old horror movies, but DJ Wolfman Jack [who is still pretty furry].) So luckily, I will never have to buy a product like this to increase my manhood.
Since I have realized it is futile to try and grow a full beard, over winter break I attempted to grow just a mustache. For three long weeks I grew and grew. While the ladies may have balked at my aspiring stache, we all know that they love the tingliness. Sadly, my mustache didn't work out and I removed it. It was fun while it lasted, but it made me look Mexican (not that theres anything wrong with that, but why should I try to be something I'm not).
how i wanted my mustache
to look
how my mustache turned out
ironic part of it is that the rest of my body is full
of thick hair. I am like the Wolfman. (Not the monster from the old horror movies, but DJ Wolfman Jack [who is still pretty furry].) So luckily, I will never have to buy a product like this to increase my manhood.
Since I have realized it is futile to try and grow a full beard, over winter break I attempted to grow just a mustache. For three long weeks I grew and grew. While the ladies may have balked at my aspiring stache, we all know that they love the tingliness. Sadly, my mustache didn't work out and I removed it. It was fun while it lasted, but it made me look Mexican (not that theres anything wrong with that, but why should I try to be something I'm not).
how i wanted my mustache
to look
how my mustache turned out
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