My most fulfilling memory as a young lad involved my magical summer with my pet horse Sparky. Sparky and I would gallop through the Northern Wisconsin countryside while admiring the wonders of nature. Me and Sparks would even eat our meals together. The steady diet of carrots and hay kept my visions strong and my bowel movements regular. As I would ride my horsey, I felt the pangs of joy reach up through my loins. It was a feeling I would not feel again until my sexual awakening six years later.
Sadly, the Sparky's food bill was too out of control for our modest farmland budget. It tore my heart to shreds when my evil step-dad took away my little pony to be ground up into glue and hot dogs. I cried for three straight weeks up until my sixteenth birthday, where I was given a rocking horse that filled the gaping void missing from my empty heart.
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